So once again I find myself up late with nothing getting done but I don't want to go to bed. I feel stuck between gum and a sticky place, like I can't move but I don't want to sit still. I'm torn between my need to succeed and my need to be involved. When I get involved in this many things, I am unable to give everything the attention it needs to be done well. I used to get by with easy As in all my classes, no study or work needed. Now I am working twice as hard for B+ to A- grades, and if this semester continues on the path it's on I'll be lucky to get Bs. I missed a meeting tonight because I forgot I had it. I'm too tired, trying to do too much at once. I almost wish the world would collapse and civilization would simplify. We try to do too much with not enough sleep, nutritious food or even just time in general.
I am reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland again. I have so much homework I'm not doing because I can't. My mind is even tired. So tonight I go to bed not even knowing if there's any homework I have due, but knowing that if there is I wouldn't do it anyway. But I won't go to bed now... back and forth, forth and back- From one busy day to the next, every moment of my down time spent trying to push out of my mind the things I have to do until they're right on top of me. Not getting enough sleep even though I am back in time to shower and go to bed by 11 almost every night. I have gotten to sleep before 1 AM twice in the last year and a half or so, and both times it was because I was sick and pulled an all-nighter the night before. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a great book to just avoid the world with...
I suppose I should be done, shower and go to bed. But instead I will probably post this, log onto Facebook, loaf around and finally shower and get to bed by 2 AM or so. Figures.
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