Reposting this because A: there was a spelling error =O and B: I wanted to make sure everyone who wants to follow me can know that I'm still writing. I have been in Peru for almost 2 months now, training for my work in Paraguay.
Hey followers! I know you're probably busy, but for those who actually follow my blog I will be keeping a separate blog while I'm in Paraguay. I'm going to call it "de que trabaja Dios" (of what God works).
Hopefullly this will be a structured blog, unlike IWASLT... I am thinking of something like 3 points to each post, where Point 1 will be "What's new in Paraguay." Point 2, "Leon's thoughts." and Point 3 will be "God's work in E: all of the above."
I just wanted to post a link to it here, and let you guys know that I'm not quitting my already sparse blogging but am continuing it more regularly and with a purpose at http://leonparaguay.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
It's coming
I'm not the best at web design, but I made this blog have some colors I like and I tried to make my profile picture a funny one, since I love humor. If you can't read it, it's a wise seer sitting in front of a cave on a mountain. It says "Subsidiary of Google". For those of you who don't think this is funny, I'm sorry for every joke I've ever made to you. This is my humor. It's sarcastic, usually fictional but only because it's an exaggeration of the truth. Are all wise men controlled by Google? Of course not! But the majority of us are used to being able to find things with the click of a mouse. It's funny, just trust me.
"What's coming Leon? What is it? Your first paragraph doesn't make sense with the title you put up Leon!" Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm getting to it. Sorry for sharing my thoughts. Sheesh people, take it easy on me.
So... Finals week. It's crazy. I'm so busy I don't know what to do. But finals are not what's coming, at least not what I named the title for. What's coming after finals is. What's coming after finals is summer. "YAY! Summer! That's the fun time of the year when you don't have school and you can go home and see your family and friends back home! And you can work and make money too!" Hold your horses! Yes, all that is exciting, but there's also this: I will not get to see all the people I've been trying so hard to make a bigger part of my life over the last 2 years, at least not for a while. And that while could be a LONG while. I might get to go to Paraguay. There's an awesome opportunity there, and it seems to be a good fit for what God has called me to. Only thing is, it's 27 months long. (2 years and 3 months for you readers who have a little trouble with math)
Yeah, I know. There will be sacrifices made for the sake of the cross. I understand, and I'm not mad about it. But it's saddening. I trust my friends to be loyal, but that doesn't mean I won't be missing out on a lot. People get married in 2 years. People meet someone they never knew before and get married to them in 2 years. I could come back to a whole different group of people than the ones I left. That's scary to me.
♪We will abandon it all for the sake of the call... wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call!♪ That's an old song. You might know it, you might not. Avalon... yeah.
Anyway, I need to get to sleep... I have music to play, papers to write, student government meetings, cheer practice, tournaments to run and apparently they want us to read books in school too! Luckily my jobs are not too busy right now, I don't have to put much time into work. Thank God for the little blessings.
Goodnight, world. Until tomorrow!
To all my friends, I hope you realize that I truly, deeply love you!
~Leon
Less than three =D
"What's coming Leon? What is it? Your first paragraph doesn't make sense with the title you put up Leon!" Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm getting to it. Sorry for sharing my thoughts. Sheesh people, take it easy on me.
So... Finals week. It's crazy. I'm so busy I don't know what to do. But finals are not what's coming, at least not what I named the title for. What's coming after finals is. What's coming after finals is summer. "YAY! Summer! That's the fun time of the year when you don't have school and you can go home and see your family and friends back home! And you can work and make money too!" Hold your horses! Yes, all that is exciting, but there's also this: I will not get to see all the people I've been trying so hard to make a bigger part of my life over the last 2 years, at least not for a while. And that while could be a LONG while. I might get to go to Paraguay. There's an awesome opportunity there, and it seems to be a good fit for what God has called me to. Only thing is, it's 27 months long. (2 years and 3 months for you readers who have a little trouble with math)
Yeah, I know. There will be sacrifices made for the sake of the cross. I understand, and I'm not mad about it. But it's saddening. I trust my friends to be loyal, but that doesn't mean I won't be missing out on a lot. People get married in 2 years. People meet someone they never knew before and get married to them in 2 years. I could come back to a whole different group of people than the ones I left. That's scary to me.
♪We will abandon it all for the sake of the call... wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call!♪ That's an old song. You might know it, you might not. Avalon... yeah.
Anyway, I need to get to sleep... I have music to play, papers to write, student government meetings, cheer practice, tournaments to run and apparently they want us to read books in school too! Luckily my jobs are not too busy right now, I don't have to put much time into work. Thank God for the little blessings.
Goodnight, world. Until tomorrow!
To all my friends, I hope you realize that I truly, deeply love you!
~Leon
Less than three =D
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
What can we learn?
I found a little revelation from a dumb bird the other day. Kinda like that bird Christmas story, but less sappy. I mean, how stupid are we? We have such a limited perspective, can we truly KNOW anything? Anyway...
So I'm walking back to my dorm, and I see a bird on the side of my path. I'm walking by it, my path won't come within 10 feet of it, but this bird doesn't know that. As I get closer, not even walking toward it, practically parallel to it in fact, it starts hopping away. I think to myself, you silly little creature, can't you tell I'm not gonna harm you? But does it care? Does it understand? No.
Yet here am I, a pathetic little human, and what do I do when God walks in my life? I run. Does He want to hurt me? No... but of course, little old me knows best. Right? Not so much. And... yeah. That's all I got. I'm WAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY behind on homework, so probably peace for a while ma dudes!
So I'm walking back to my dorm, and I see a bird on the side of my path. I'm walking by it, my path won't come within 10 feet of it, but this bird doesn't know that. As I get closer, not even walking toward it, practically parallel to it in fact, it starts hopping away. I think to myself, you silly little creature, can't you tell I'm not gonna harm you? But does it care? Does it understand? No.
Yet here am I, a pathetic little human, and what do I do when God walks in my life? I run. Does He want to hurt me? No... but of course, little old me knows best. Right? Not so much. And... yeah. That's all I got. I'm WAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY behind on homework, so probably peace for a while ma dudes!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Can I just say?
Can I just say I hate normal? I don't really know why, maybe it's just a reaction to that which is accepted, but I just don't like things that go- well- normally. I much prefer the abnormal, unexpected, out-of-the-ordinary thing that bring excitement to our lives. We have so much that just seems to blow by us without us taking the time to really see anything much in it.
Can I just say I don't even care? Who cares what happens to me tomorrow? If I die, people will be sad. There are people who know me, and will miss me. There will be another generation or two who might hear about me, but within 4 generations I'll be forgotten. Half the presidents of the US are not even remembered by name. Today, tomorrow, they mean nothing if I am not able to contribute to the eternal kingdom. So let me die now that I might live.
Can I just say this world really knows how to grind my gears? Everything I love in this world is pushed to the bottom on the prioritized list we've written up over generations. Jesus? Well that's for Sundays and an occasional Wednesday night. Friends, family, fun? Only after the work is done. Physical activity? Unless you're good enough to go pro, forget about it. You're wasting time when there are bills to pay. Music and creative expression, much less experimentation with the things like inventing, freewriting, etc? Haha, that's even lower than sports.
Can I just say I feel like I'm writing to nobody but everybody? Who even reads these? I probably get more out of this than anyone else, when I go back and read my own writing it can sometimes be inspirational... but mostly it's just a trip down memory lane. And sometimes I wonder if anything I have to say is worth reading to others. If everyone in the world read my work, would it contribute to a better world? Oh sure, I can be cliche and say let's all just love and forgive and not be violent, but in all honesty my advice to people is just to think things through, know why they do what they do...
Can I just say that I have probably already said too much? I'm done.
Can I just say I don't even care? Who cares what happens to me tomorrow? If I die, people will be sad. There are people who know me, and will miss me. There will be another generation or two who might hear about me, but within 4 generations I'll be forgotten. Half the presidents of the US are not even remembered by name. Today, tomorrow, they mean nothing if I am not able to contribute to the eternal kingdom. So let me die now that I might live.
Can I just say this world really knows how to grind my gears? Everything I love in this world is pushed to the bottom on the prioritized list we've written up over generations. Jesus? Well that's for Sundays and an occasional Wednesday night. Friends, family, fun? Only after the work is done. Physical activity? Unless you're good enough to go pro, forget about it. You're wasting time when there are bills to pay. Music and creative expression, much less experimentation with the things like inventing, freewriting, etc? Haha, that's even lower than sports.
Can I just say I feel like I'm writing to nobody but everybody? Who even reads these? I probably get more out of this than anyone else, when I go back and read my own writing it can sometimes be inspirational... but mostly it's just a trip down memory lane. And sometimes I wonder if anything I have to say is worth reading to others. If everyone in the world read my work, would it contribute to a better world? Oh sure, I can be cliche and say let's all just love and forgive and not be violent, but in all honesty my advice to people is just to think things through, know why they do what they do...
Can I just say that I have probably already said too much? I'm done.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Fog on the path to my bed.
The fog lit up my afternoon
as my heart ran ahead of my shoes
the fog kept my evening bright
as I had nothing to lose
the fog traveled in my mind
to the shelter I was entering
though while the fog outside was logged
my bed to me was beckoning.
as my heart ran ahead of my shoes
the fog kept my evening bright
as I had nothing to lose
the fog traveled in my mind
to the shelter I was entering
though while the fog outside was logged
my bed to me was beckoning.
Beauty
This was one of the biggest notes for me on Facebook. I wrote it a year and a half ago, but I hold a very strong conviction about it, and I took the time to tag the max tag limit on around a dozen copies of it. It took a long time, but it was worth it.
For all the women who God made beautiful, and all the men who are willing to see them as beautiful people.
So, for quite some time now I've been thinking this way, but only just now got really motivated to write it all out. It's been far too long since I last wrote out a note, so if I get really wordy, I'm sorry. I hope all of you see this as God's work in my life, all glory to him in everything.
Beauty. It's very interesting to me that we have so many words we use to describe "good-looking" in English. Pretty, handsome, attractive, sexy, hot, beautiful... society tends to use them in the same general context. I think beauty in particular is not meant to be used in this way.
Let me make a statement here which I will explain in a little bit (since I need to ask permission before I write it =P): Pretty is to describe looks, beauty is to describe appearance. Confused? Saying a person is pretty (or handsome) might mean they have a nice face, good looking eyes, complexion, figure, etc. But for someone to be beautiful, they neither have to be good or bad looking. Someone who I call beautiful is someone who APPEARS good to me. Regardless of how my sense of sight perceives their physical appearance, someone who makes an impression of happiness by smiling a lot, someone who expresses joy, someone who shows the fruits of the spirit, this is someone who I perceive to be... beautiful.
I call all my friends beautiful, guy or girl. But I think especially for the girls, it's tough to accept yourself for who and how you are when many things tell you you need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, talk and act a certain way to be beautiful. Some guys compare girls based on looks, society teaches that the super skinny supermodels are desirable and anyone else needs to change to be acceptable. T.V. shows and movies and books and magazines are full of this shallow view. Disney talks about just being yourself and listening to your heart, all the while taking the best looking actors and actresses they can find and casting them to be the heroes of most of their stories. Look at all the early cartoons, with a dashing prince charming for the beautiful princess. Only Beauty and the Beast had an ugly character, and he became handsome to complete the happy ending.
I love to look to the scripture, and just last night flipped to Isaiah 43. It's too long for me to post here, but I do want to draw out one part in particular (it's worth reading, the whole book is) "Since you were precious in my sight you have been honored and I have loved you." Isaiah 43:4a. I love the passage in Matthew where Jesus tells us not to worry, for the God who created us know even when a sparrow falls to the ground, and how much more does he love us? He created us and loves us SO much more.
God does not make mistakes. He does not create anything bad. Every single person he made he made in his image. The diversity in looks across the world shows his creativity, his artistic ability. We were made to bring him glory. But our worth comes not from outward appearances, from looks, but from who we are and how we bring glory to him. I love the song More from Matthew West (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mITRKCDel44), and Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZkrn_vaqU) is a good song relative to the topic. It is SO TRUE. I love each and every one of you so much, guys and girls alike, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
If that is irrelevant to you, I hope you will find this true and rejoice in it. My love for you is imperfect, at my best times I am merely reflecting God's love. GOD LOVES YOU AND THINKS YOU ARE IMMEASURABLY BEAUTIFUL AND OF INFINITE WORTH. God will never have anything less than perfect and perfectly complete love for you, and the children's song holds true: they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.
One last thing, and this is mainly for the guys. As men of Christ, we need to make a stand to imitate God's love in this way. Those of you from MNU who were in Tuesday's chapel a while back, when Mike Davis stood up and asked us to join together, to be the heroes, I hope you meant it, and I hope you find this note to be an encouraging reminder of it. LOVE the women in your life, and let them know that they are beautiful. You don't have to have a romantic interest in a girl to let her know you think she's beautiful. Sometimes it can be taken that way, but don't let that discourage you. It is so important that we realize the true beauty and value in those who God put on this earth with us. It's not in sex, in looking like a model, or any other lie the Prince of this world throws at us. It's in the beauty God put in us.
One more time, and I can't say it enough, I love you all so much and constantly thank God for putting you into my life. He blesses me with new friends and continues to bless me through the influence of the old ones. Family, friends, anyone reading this: You are beautiful, worthwhile and I love you.
~Leon
For all the women who God made beautiful, and all the men who are willing to see them as beautiful people.
So, for quite some time now I've been thinking this way, but only just now got really motivated to write it all out. It's been far too long since I last wrote out a note, so if I get really wordy, I'm sorry. I hope all of you see this as God's work in my life, all glory to him in everything.
Beauty. It's very interesting to me that we have so many words we use to describe "good-looking" in English. Pretty, handsome, attractive, sexy, hot, beautiful... society tends to use them in the same general context. I think beauty in particular is not meant to be used in this way.
Let me make a statement here which I will explain in a little bit (since I need to ask permission before I write it =P): Pretty is to describe looks, beauty is to describe appearance. Confused? Saying a person is pretty (or handsome) might mean they have a nice face, good looking eyes, complexion, figure, etc. But for someone to be beautiful, they neither have to be good or bad looking. Someone who I call beautiful is someone who APPEARS good to me. Regardless of how my sense of sight perceives their physical appearance, someone who makes an impression of happiness by smiling a lot, someone who expresses joy, someone who shows the fruits of the spirit, this is someone who I perceive to be... beautiful.
I call all my friends beautiful, guy or girl. But I think especially for the girls, it's tough to accept yourself for who and how you are when many things tell you you need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, talk and act a certain way to be beautiful. Some guys compare girls based on looks, society teaches that the super skinny supermodels are desirable and anyone else needs to change to be acceptable. T.V. shows and movies and books and magazines are full of this shallow view. Disney talks about just being yourself and listening to your heart, all the while taking the best looking actors and actresses they can find and casting them to be the heroes of most of their stories. Look at all the early cartoons, with a dashing prince charming for the beautiful princess. Only Beauty and the Beast had an ugly character, and he became handsome to complete the happy ending.
I love to look to the scripture, and just last night flipped to Isaiah 43. It's too long for me to post here, but I do want to draw out one part in particular (it's worth reading, the whole book is) "Since you were precious in my sight you have been honored and I have loved you." Isaiah 43:4a. I love the passage in Matthew where Jesus tells us not to worry, for the God who created us know even when a sparrow falls to the ground, and how much more does he love us? He created us and loves us SO much more.
God does not make mistakes. He does not create anything bad. Every single person he made he made in his image. The diversity in looks across the world shows his creativity, his artistic ability. We were made to bring him glory. But our worth comes not from outward appearances, from looks, but from who we are and how we bring glory to him. I love the song More from Matthew West (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mITRKCDel44), and Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZkrn_vaqU) is a good song relative to the topic. It is SO TRUE. I love each and every one of you so much, guys and girls alike, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
If that is irrelevant to you, I hope you will find this true and rejoice in it. My love for you is imperfect, at my best times I am merely reflecting God's love. GOD LOVES YOU AND THINKS YOU ARE IMMEASURABLY BEAUTIFUL AND OF INFINITE WORTH. God will never have anything less than perfect and perfectly complete love for you, and the children's song holds true: they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.
One last thing, and this is mainly for the guys. As men of Christ, we need to make a stand to imitate God's love in this way. Those of you from MNU who were in Tuesday's chapel a while back, when Mike Davis stood up and asked us to join together, to be the heroes, I hope you meant it, and I hope you find this note to be an encouraging reminder of it. LOVE the women in your life, and let them know that they are beautiful. You don't have to have a romantic interest in a girl to let her know you think she's beautiful. Sometimes it can be taken that way, but don't let that discourage you. It is so important that we realize the true beauty and value in those who God put on this earth with us. It's not in sex, in looking like a model, or any other lie the Prince of this world throws at us. It's in the beauty God put in us.
One more time, and I can't say it enough, I love you all so much and constantly thank God for putting you into my life. He blesses me with new friends and continues to bless me through the influence of the old ones. Family, friends, anyone reading this: You are beautiful, worthwhile and I love you.
~Leon
Dating and Christianity. The absolute truth that applies to ALL relationships.
Yet another Facebook upload... it's super long so no worries if you don't wanna read it =D
Ok so there is some slight sarcasm in the title... But am I the only one who wonders about all the books, commentaries, articles, and all the people talking and giving advice on relationships? Which one is right? Are any of them? Or is it all relative, and just depends on each case? I'd say that there are some points which are absolutely true about what's good and what's not, and some things that are either too small to matter or depend on the motives and the individuals involved.
First off, I would contend that those who claim to know the 7 steps to finding out exactly what s/he likes are nutjobs or salespeople. I don't think there is any kind of perfect guide, especially since people are different all over the place. Some people who claim to be Christians (not denying the claim, just saying that it is their claim and not necessarily a fact) say that it's ok to "try out" a potential partner because God doesn't want us to be unhappy in our sex for the rest of our lives. I disagree. Others say that God will bring the right one into your life as long as you trust him.
Well, fair enough I guess. God certainly wants us to be happy, and while I think that He has a plan for who, if anyone, He wants to bring together, I think He can bring us joy with any spouse. There is not ONE good Christian woman in the world, and I think that if I somehow missed the opportunity to learn to love the person God meant for me that He could bring someone else in at another time and still give both of us joy in our life together. The point (which I have taken quite a while getting to, but I think it is important to note why I believe what I do) is that God is not going to make sleeping beauty fall into my arms. I don't think He will have every one of His faithful followers find their spouse by some amazing feat, I think He will work to bring it about but allow us to take steps of faith. This is to say, we don't need to ignore members of the opposite sex or our feelings toward them. But God isn't going to treat us like babies, doing everything for us. We have to take action in our lives at some point.
This is hard for me because I saw so many dating relationships go sour from an outside perspective that I grew to dislike dating. I have never dated. I hardly ever had any desire to. I thought that dating was a good way to ruin a friendship. I still do not think that dating in the way many approach it is the best route, after all most of the time the relationships do not end well. Obviously not everyone who dates gets married, and sadly many who get married get divorced. Even within those who claim Christianity there is a divorce rate over 50%. Has marriage failed us? Is there something wrong with us? In short, yes. We are imperfect. But I believe marriage CAN be something people make work "til death do us part". The problem is the MOTIVE.
In case I'm losing you by this point, remember this is my perspective. I'm no more able to give a perfect guideline book than the televangelists or Christian magazine authors/editors. But I do think I have been given some wisdom and reasoning from God, and I feel it is good to share it. I do know that some of my opinions, especially what I'm about to share, are unpopular. But I don't think popularity is truth. I simply have to say what the Lord has put on my heart.
Motive. Why do people date? Why do they get married? The t.v. answer is of course love, but how can we say it is really love when so often it ends poorly? I think too many people are confused on what love is. Not everyone says it, but most of the time I think people date because they like someone. There's nothing wrong with liking someone, as a friend or romantically. Attraction is part of how we were made. I'd be worried if someone DIDN'T experience it. But often times people confuse it with love. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a song or t.v. show or something talk about love and say something like "I just want to be with you.", I'd be richer than Bill Gates. Think about it, the subject is "I" and the verb is "want". I want. Me. Me me me.
This seems so selfish to me. I like d.c. talk, and their way of putting it. Love is a verb. Love is not about warm feelings when we hold hands, about how happy she makes him, about how he makes her laugh, about attraction. These things are not bad. Too many times people think I am attacking these things. I'm not. I'm saying that they should not be the focus. They should not be the MOTIVE. If I get married, I certainly hope I will be attracted to my wife. I hope I can bring a smile to her face, make her laugh, bring joy to her life, etc. I wouldn't be too upset if my wife could bring joy to my life too. But if we are out to find someone who makes us happy, how can we claim selflessness and love in our relationships?
I used to think that I would just make friends, and that by loving my friends in the way that I believe my Lord and savior told me to I would eventually find a woman who loved me and I loved and that from friend love we could mature to romantic love. I don't think this is necessarily wrong, but I feel that maybe there's a little bit more to it than that. I still want my wife to be more like a best friend, someone I trust and who trusts me, someone I care for and someone who I would readily give my life for. But I think there's one other thing that might be necessary. Maybe, just maybe this is one case where it's ok to play favorites.
I try to treat all my friends equally. Being that I (shocker here) am not God, I am unable to truly love all my friends equally. But I try to keep my actions from showing favoritism. I try to sit by different people at different meals. I try to spend time with all those who I love. But maybe for someone who I feel I might be interested in pursuing romance with, maybe it's ok to let them know they hold a special place in my life. It's one thing to love many friends, but if I get married I will only have one wife to love (unless I move to Utah and go the Mormon route).
I still think that marriage is not about taking her to Olive Garden and cheap movies, about holding hands and having my heart jump into my upper respiratory cavities and all the other little quirks of attraction. I think it's about making a commitment to love and care for one person, to put them above ourselves. I think the best way to approach it is not to meet a pretty girl, ask her out and try to get to know her while putting ourselves in awkward situations and making it seem like top priority that we impress one another. Or for girls, to try to dress up, look pretty and say all the right things so the guy thinks you are perfect. I think it's easier to get to know what someone is really like when we are friends, comfortable in each other's presence but not alone trying to pretend to be perfect for them.
This is possibly the most disorganized piece of work I've ever written. It's hard trying to gather ALL the thoughts I have on the issue, all the little details, and put them into reader-friendly format. It doesn't help that I was halfway through this when something caused it to freeze and I had to start over. Then the fire alarm went off... but here I want to try to summarize so that at least you have a clear idea of what my point is. I don't think we can allow the world's model of a relationship, the self pleasing idea that we all have the right to find the perfect someone who will make us happy, I don't think we can allow that to shape our view of love. ESPECIALLY for someone who we must be committed to for life.
As Paul wrote to the Romans (12:1-2) "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Our lives, our bodies, none of this is about us. If we seek to please ourselves, we will end up in the miserable rut so many are already in. Divorce, painful breakups, all these things that don't have to be a part of our lives. God wants to give us joy, but I think we only truly find it when we, instead of looking for it for ourselves, try to bring it to others. I think this is CRUCIAL when it comes to our romances. If we are to have working marriages, we need to allow our motive to be to love as Christ taught us to, not to find someone who will make us happy.
Ok so there is some slight sarcasm in the title... But am I the only one who wonders about all the books, commentaries, articles, and all the people talking and giving advice on relationships? Which one is right? Are any of them? Or is it all relative, and just depends on each case? I'd say that there are some points which are absolutely true about what's good and what's not, and some things that are either too small to matter or depend on the motives and the individuals involved.
First off, I would contend that those who claim to know the 7 steps to finding out exactly what s/he likes are nutjobs or salespeople. I don't think there is any kind of perfect guide, especially since people are different all over the place. Some people who claim to be Christians (not denying the claim, just saying that it is their claim and not necessarily a fact) say that it's ok to "try out" a potential partner because God doesn't want us to be unhappy in our sex for the rest of our lives. I disagree. Others say that God will bring the right one into your life as long as you trust him.
Well, fair enough I guess. God certainly wants us to be happy, and while I think that He has a plan for who, if anyone, He wants to bring together, I think He can bring us joy with any spouse. There is not ONE good Christian woman in the world, and I think that if I somehow missed the opportunity to learn to love the person God meant for me that He could bring someone else in at another time and still give both of us joy in our life together. The point (which I have taken quite a while getting to, but I think it is important to note why I believe what I do) is that God is not going to make sleeping beauty fall into my arms. I don't think He will have every one of His faithful followers find their spouse by some amazing feat, I think He will work to bring it about but allow us to take steps of faith. This is to say, we don't need to ignore members of the opposite sex or our feelings toward them. But God isn't going to treat us like babies, doing everything for us. We have to take action in our lives at some point.
This is hard for me because I saw so many dating relationships go sour from an outside perspective that I grew to dislike dating. I have never dated. I hardly ever had any desire to. I thought that dating was a good way to ruin a friendship. I still do not think that dating in the way many approach it is the best route, after all most of the time the relationships do not end well. Obviously not everyone who dates gets married, and sadly many who get married get divorced. Even within those who claim Christianity there is a divorce rate over 50%. Has marriage failed us? Is there something wrong with us? In short, yes. We are imperfect. But I believe marriage CAN be something people make work "til death do us part". The problem is the MOTIVE.
In case I'm losing you by this point, remember this is my perspective. I'm no more able to give a perfect guideline book than the televangelists or Christian magazine authors/editors. But I do think I have been given some wisdom and reasoning from God, and I feel it is good to share it. I do know that some of my opinions, especially what I'm about to share, are unpopular. But I don't think popularity is truth. I simply have to say what the Lord has put on my heart.
Motive. Why do people date? Why do they get married? The t.v. answer is of course love, but how can we say it is really love when so often it ends poorly? I think too many people are confused on what love is. Not everyone says it, but most of the time I think people date because they like someone. There's nothing wrong with liking someone, as a friend or romantically. Attraction is part of how we were made. I'd be worried if someone DIDN'T experience it. But often times people confuse it with love. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a song or t.v. show or something talk about love and say something like "I just want to be with you.", I'd be richer than Bill Gates. Think about it, the subject is "I" and the verb is "want". I want. Me. Me me me.
This seems so selfish to me. I like d.c. talk, and their way of putting it. Love is a verb. Love is not about warm feelings when we hold hands, about how happy she makes him, about how he makes her laugh, about attraction. These things are not bad. Too many times people think I am attacking these things. I'm not. I'm saying that they should not be the focus. They should not be the MOTIVE. If I get married, I certainly hope I will be attracted to my wife. I hope I can bring a smile to her face, make her laugh, bring joy to her life, etc. I wouldn't be too upset if my wife could bring joy to my life too. But if we are out to find someone who makes us happy, how can we claim selflessness and love in our relationships?
I used to think that I would just make friends, and that by loving my friends in the way that I believe my Lord and savior told me to I would eventually find a woman who loved me and I loved and that from friend love we could mature to romantic love. I don't think this is necessarily wrong, but I feel that maybe there's a little bit more to it than that. I still want my wife to be more like a best friend, someone I trust and who trusts me, someone I care for and someone who I would readily give my life for. But I think there's one other thing that might be necessary. Maybe, just maybe this is one case where it's ok to play favorites.
I try to treat all my friends equally. Being that I (shocker here) am not God, I am unable to truly love all my friends equally. But I try to keep my actions from showing favoritism. I try to sit by different people at different meals. I try to spend time with all those who I love. But maybe for someone who I feel I might be interested in pursuing romance with, maybe it's ok to let them know they hold a special place in my life. It's one thing to love many friends, but if I get married I will only have one wife to love (unless I move to Utah and go the Mormon route).
I still think that marriage is not about taking her to Olive Garden and cheap movies, about holding hands and having my heart jump into my upper respiratory cavities and all the other little quirks of attraction. I think it's about making a commitment to love and care for one person, to put them above ourselves. I think the best way to approach it is not to meet a pretty girl, ask her out and try to get to know her while putting ourselves in awkward situations and making it seem like top priority that we impress one another. Or for girls, to try to dress up, look pretty and say all the right things so the guy thinks you are perfect. I think it's easier to get to know what someone is really like when we are friends, comfortable in each other's presence but not alone trying to pretend to be perfect for them.
This is possibly the most disorganized piece of work I've ever written. It's hard trying to gather ALL the thoughts I have on the issue, all the little details, and put them into reader-friendly format. It doesn't help that I was halfway through this when something caused it to freeze and I had to start over. Then the fire alarm went off... but here I want to try to summarize so that at least you have a clear idea of what my point is. I don't think we can allow the world's model of a relationship, the self pleasing idea that we all have the right to find the perfect someone who will make us happy, I don't think we can allow that to shape our view of love. ESPECIALLY for someone who we must be committed to for life.
As Paul wrote to the Romans (12:1-2) "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Our lives, our bodies, none of this is about us. If we seek to please ourselves, we will end up in the miserable rut so many are already in. Divorce, painful breakups, all these things that don't have to be a part of our lives. God wants to give us joy, but I think we only truly find it when we, instead of looking for it for ourselves, try to bring it to others. I think this is CRUCIAL when it comes to our romances. If we are to have working marriages, we need to allow our motive to be to love as Christ taught us to, not to find someone who will make us happy.
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